R.I.P

Rip and burn, do that to all of it I can’t continue with you hovering above me. Bread crumbs bread crumbs that’s all I could leave until you walk into the snare. Ask how much I’m gonna chase this fantasy, lol, not anymore. Foolishness is sitting in the backseat of the vehicle hoping to get asked to drive. Wisdom is knowing when the time is right to get in front and steer. 

Rip and burn my heart to ashes, take them and spread them across the sea, feed it to the wind so she takes them somewhere worthwhile. Take the bits dpieces of me cos I’m done with this life, and I can’t continue as one entity for I have been a nonentity. I hope my ashes do more for the many creatures of the world than my whole body ever did in one spot. 

Adios to folly, Adios to creativity, Adios to sensitivity, Adios to stupidity, Adios to sensibility, Adios to Gaia, Adios to Bacchus, Adios to Minerva. Now the goodbyes are done what next?

Swear word!

I’m laying here sprawled out before you laying in a pool of my own blood. I reached into myself and gave of me freely to let you know I cared. I would give you my everything yet you don’t understand a thing. 

I walked the burning coals, weathered the storm just to show you how much I cared, yet you turn away ignoring the signs. I tell you what I need you to know, the revelation of my source of inspiration and the item of my admiration. I’m wasting my time though cos evidently it’s a crime to be anything more than a backstabber and heartbreaker. 

I came low once to pull you up, never again I say I’m through. I choose to not grovel in the dirt I choose not to crawl on the diamonds, I chose not to suffer to explain my emotions to you. If you don’t understand yet, there’s no hope for this. Go home and leave me be. 

Soul…Stare

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, have you looked into the mirror and stared into your eyes?

I did, I do occasionally and it shocks me, because I think to myself boy you feeble, a softie, too kind, a pushover, the sad sort, a waste of air upon this earth. Yet when I look into the mirror and I stare into my soul I see a man who battles his demons with sword and shield, guns and arrows. I see a lone wolf who has fought his way through the wilderness and emerged the leader of the pack. I see single soldier who has risen to command the army. I see a faded echo that bellows till it thunders. I see dancing lights and little breezes that have built to become a storm. I see perseverance, persistence and power. I see vengeance, vigilance and victory. I see fear, ferocity and feeling. I see brokenness, bravery and a birthright. I see you raw and untamed, I see strength untapped and pure, I see the potential to rise above it all, I see a heart big enough to take many in and a will strong enough to protect them. I see you the fearless warrior, the fighting lover, the bridge, the hope and the light. I see you, the real you.

A very good miss

Amidst the many people that I’ve met there are a few that stand out. Some take up their challenges and “take the bull by the horn”. How much do you have to see in life, how much of its experiences do you have to take lessons from??? 

I know beautiful people and I know beautiful people and she stands in the latter list. For reasons that transcend explanation. A big heart and thoughts that span the entirety of all around, curiousity killed the cat, but does that count for all humans cos our race should not exist. I feel like A very big softie cos I consider so many things especially when I’m thinking about friends, family and those who break through layers tend to matter differently. But my dear can never ever be crushed by foolish people who care about themselves more than others because she’s a lot more important than that. Your amazing no matter what they think or want to believe. So love yourself first sweetheart. And then put other people on the list. 

The Dark Side. CH4

The first thing she saw were the white walls and ceiling that made up the hospital room. She had been sent to the hospital for a checkup after she passed out. The paramedic was concerned when witnesses had explained her concussed state and how she fell unconscious, so he advised she go to the hospital. Her eyes came back down to earth and she scanned the room to see her mother seated in a chair by the corner. A blanket around her and a book open on her lap, she had fallen asleep juggling between reading and watching her. She was alerted when the paramedics brought her in, a nurse looked through her phone and found the number. She was very happy to see her, and it calmed her down as she had forgotten what happened and how she ended up here. She looked toward the door to call to the nurse but none walked by, plus it was closed. She tried to speak but thought best if she didn’t wake her mum. She looked about her bed for the nurse button and clicked it. A nurse came within the minute with a beaming smile, glad to see you awake she said, “sshhhh please lower” and she signalled to her mom sleeping. The nurse put her hand over her mouth and gave her the thumbs up. She walked closer and asked “how do you feel?”. “Fine I guess, please can I get some water? And what happened to me please, how did I get here?”. “What is the last thing you remember?” The nurse inquired. “I had just finished buying groceries for supper,… Wait what day is this?” She asked in a panic, as she realised the missing time she could not account for. At that her mother opened her eyes, when she saw her daughter sitting up and talking she leapt and hugged her tight. “I thought I told you to look twice when crossing streets, it’s among the first things you learnt”. Her daughter looks at her puzzled, ” what do you mean? I wasnt crossing any roads, what happened?”. The nurse explains all she knew in the best way she could while Ellie looks at her in wonder at the events that occurred. After, she was brought up to speed on her ordeal. She chose to get some more rest, hoping to remember some part of the story she was just told. Laying there in bed she looked at her mother who turned away from her book for a moment to catch her gaze, “do you want something to eat”. “no I’m fine, for now”, she replied. “Well let me know ok, you should get discharged soon, so tell me what you want and I will either get it made or we’ll have take out alright?”. “Yes mum”, with a gentle smile that said a very big thank you and whispered I love you. Her mom smiled back and slowly turned back to her book, looking at her every now and then. 
Now she had turned to look at her surrounding, the white washed walls, patterned ceiling with white ceiling boards, the baby blue sheets on her bed. The soft whirring of all the equipment beside her, the soft chatter of the people outside sounding like a city square bustling with activity. It was a very relaxing room except for the unnerving smell of hospital that lingered, it was ok. She still hoped she wouldn’t have to stay too long though, a hospital is not a great place to lodge in, she thought. Then again, there is so much that could happen here she thought, the amount of medication, equipment and tools for her revenge the possibilities were endless. She imagined the means for the capture of those murdering scoundrels. Anything really that allowed her gain control over them and have them in a confined environment, two rooms with two beds, I.V. stands and straps for the hands feet and head. The beds would stand at a 45 degree angle, with the men strapped on and injected it a paralysing agent, she would keep them there for days gagged without any form of solid food and all forms of nutrition would come from the I.V. over the period of days to weeks. She would draw blood from each individual to the amount of 4l, at a rate that would allow them stay healthy. Every moment she left them alone she would place a small bag of water hanging above their foreheads that dropped water for 30mins with a beautiful picture of a forest landscape and a seaside landscape from the view of a window. She would place them so close to the men that they didn’t know see anything else but those paintings and because of the straps on their heads and the nature of their I.V. cocktails they suffered from paralysis. For a certain amount of days in a week she would come by and visit them. Questioning them about the events of that night, who sent them, why? After that she set up a special face mask that covered the mouth and nose, and into this mask poured their blood which she had collected earlier. And as the red liquid oozed into the mask and filled it covering his mouth she could see his eyes widen in fright. The man would have no way to fight her off, no way to stop her and no way to breathe. He’s eyes looked in horror as the liquid poured in covering his mouth, some of it seeped in througj the tape and gag and he could taste the metallic flavour of life. He’s eyes looked at the level of the liquid rising and then at the face of the girl pouring it, her face held no remorse and only presented a simple grin that screamed satisfaction. She commenced to top of his mask and stopped just as it reached the top. Then, she stopped and stepped away from the man to look into his eyes as they mirrored that of someone being chased by a pack of lions knowing he’s chances we’re less than miserable. She continued to stare into those eyes as the liquid seeped into his lungs and he began to convulse. With tears running down his eyes, shaking on the verge of a hopeless death, she lifts his head and takes of the mask allowing him to cough up the choking hazard. He coughed hard, and looked up to say thank you, she felt it and looked him dead in the eye and said, “don’t thank me, I’m not through with you yet”. And so it was, that she returned and repeated the same procedure she had done the day before, until the fourth day. This time she watched with pleasure unmistakeable and a complete absence of remorse as the life left his body. She repeated the procedure a second time,  knowing fully well that she it would yield the right results she felt a tingle down her spine Oh it would be glorious she thought. 

Cough cough, how do you feel? And the ceiling turned white and the room gained colour as a face peeked through the door, it was him.

Mad scientist

Colours and shapes, numbers and words, the only things her eyes could see. Seated in her chair she would look out the window and speak to herself, mumblings and ramblings it would seem to passers-by but on closer observation there was some magic in the chaos of words. Through the the twisted web of her memory and in the disgruntled form of her blurred speech should sometimes jump to her feet with excitement after gravitating to this climax over a period of 10mins of continuous but increasing loud talking. Off the chair she would rush to the wall and pick the chalk, like a professor among his peers or a student with his discussing the importance and methods of achieving some very impossible task. Eyes, darting from left to right, speaking on the left in two times of voice looking with awe, confusion and understanding. Straight ahead on the wall the chalk would shed its weight to paint upon the measly wall a mental picture of immense wealth. To the right, with a very focused gaze she would listen and stare into the eyes of an absent presence that seems to be imparting useful thoughts, for after which she had finished her gazing she would proceed to write some more. After this episode the wall would be covered in scribbles of all kinds from top to bottom as she had strangely gained a great deal of agility in her daze. Moments later, she looks upon it all and smiles as she sees the fruit of her work, upon a wall filled with scribbles she had placed the fruit of the darkness in here soul, the culmination of her darkest thoughts and desires for the human race. Alas, it would take a trained and highly skilled eye to see but it is present. The future of chemical warfare, a weapon of immense destructive prowess, the Soulfeeder.

Wonder woman

In his rage he called upon the heavens and they gave to him their speech, a lightning so fierce and fearsome. Into his hands he held it all, raw power wielded by a wrong heart to be used for the wrong means. In his fury he flung this energy straight at his foe.

Like a million tentacles, lightning screamed and reached for her in many directions. She crossed her gauntlets as the force of the blow pushed her back. Foot behind the other she stood her ground and took it all, the tentacles stop reaching, the screaming stopped and the lightning flowed no longer from him. Head held high, floating in the sky she realised who she was as she now wore the weapon lightning as bracelets, a queen, a highborn, a goddess. Wrath unleashed, love released, war deceased.

The Collide

Earthy and graceful, exotic and enchanting old age stepped forth like Leonard Cohen on a stage. A voice like finely aged wine, a tune like the coliseum, grand and majestic. Oh Hallelujah.

Spriteful and glamorous, in dazzling extravagance. Youth leapt out, agile and nimble. Like a young gymnast, flexible, strong, brave yet recklessly determined. A light, a vision, real beauty Ah Simone.

At the center they met their eyes catching each others light. A hand stretched forth, palm placed as two worlds collided, we felt it. The power they gave off, knowledge of the past, vision for the future, river of creativity, and an engine to push or pull.

Fear the ancient wisdom, fear the power in youth, but fear above all else the day they join together.

Playing games

When all the beauty and glamour fade away, when all the makeup and paparazzi are done for the day. What remains? This mere human shell empty and void of real emotion, incapable of reflecting on a life of worth because it is simply absent. Or is there a glint of hope in your heart that whispers to you in that silence, you are not worthless, you have real friends, those who care for you exist so do not play the fool. 

Cry

That moment when you realise your the only one in the room and it’s late at night so noone can see you or hear you, complete freedom from judging eyes and you sit there in the emptiness of your room and you let your soul vent. You clean out the clogged pipes of your soul, that have been filled with suppressed, regressed and diseased emotions. You simply let it all go and cry.