Why?!!? Why can you not come back to life like they do in the movies? Give me the closure I deserve. Let me hear your voice one more time. Tell me what I want to hear, give me some random nugget of wisdom that transcends time and holds true for eons. A piece of advice I would hold dearly till I die that would have significance till that day? Why will you not stand before me in my mind and let me feel your hug, your arms so strong yet so soft as they embrace me and cover me from every pain, sorrow and wrong I could possibly feel in this life. I am no grown up, I have nothing grown all I am is a huge pile of mistakes that only provides more mistakes to serve as stumbling blocks on the days when I choose to run.
I wish the sky was always blue and clear and the breeze always blew so nice in my hair. I wish I could love with reckless abandon every people born of a woman and have no prejudice absolutely none. I wish that death did not take so many people I loved, and that this problem of loneliness was solved. I wish I could see with my eyes the vision I create in my mind, so every bad day on the grind would offer inspiration for me to find. But then again they say, if wishes were horses beggars would ride, so instead I’ll dream. Like Martin Luther and every heart that has heard it after.
I choose to dream that one day men and women would learn respect and teach it to their children, that the young would respect the old in their wisdom and the old the young and their strength. I choose to dream that one day love will trump hate, that lady justice would punish severely and not discriminate. I choose to dream that one day the media will speak the truth and not frame people according to stereotypes further portraying these stereotypes as real when they are false. I choose to dream that one day we will learn to love our soil and earth, the way we love our phones and gadgets. I choose to dream that one day for every meal thrown away by those who can afford them, those who can’t recieve a fresh plate of food. I choose to dream that one day our CEOs and board of directors will deal more in the quality of life of their consumers instead of the profit margins of their businesses. I choose to dream that one day Africa will rise to her glorious state and recieve respect from the world as a powerful conglomerate and not simply a pity project for every first world state. I choose to dream that one day the woman will be respected and treated as the queen and goddess she is, with a voice that rings forth unhindered by primitive notions of masculinity and supported by all humanity. I choose to dream that one day we will live in a world where the waters are clean and we can trust our taps more than we can trust our plastic bottles. I choose to dream that one day religion will be used for the edification and promotion of the most important emotion on our planet and not for the molestation, oppression and segregation of any peoples. I choose to dream in a world where fake and constructed notions of truth are not perpetuated to the public through continuos bombardment by advertisements from companies willing to fashion, frame and fixate the public on facts that only produce profit.
I have a dream, that one day we will learn to love each other as we love ourselves and war will be no more.
I step, trip and stumble over my own two feet and walk into the washroom catching the sink as I lift my head to the mirror. Teary eyed my heart bleeds in my chest as I see the image. Broken, damaged, worthless, unreliable, mangled, spat out, rejected inconceivable that I could have come such a long way from my low point and be here today but then again I need to make the choice to dip my hands into the sink turn the faucet and wash my face with that water, cleanse my eyes and calm my heart. Face cleaned, vision cleared I choose to see greatness, integrity, nobility, self worth, value, self love, confidence, intelligence, royalty I choose to pick myself up, fight through the pain, work my heart out and leave that sink mirror head held high.
I love you enough to turn your life so fantastic it would look like a dream. I love you enough to make the confidence, faith and hope that exibits in your life shine so bright that it would serve as a lighthouse to the millions lost in the seas of deception, depression and despair. I love you enough to cradle your bruised and battered mind and heal it entirely, I love you enough to remain the constant, the rock, the pillar in the wilderness, when the winds of doubt have blown away your entire structure just lean my dear. I love you enough to stay close when you run jump, climb and try to hide away from me. I love you enough to part enemies, remove obstacles and hide traps set to destroy you. I love you more than you know, and you could never fathom it but I try to let it show. Open your eyes and see that I am always here even when you think I’m not, my breath sustains you when you drown in stress, my warmth clothes you when you are freezing in grief, my light shines the way out of the caves of denial. I am, will and forever shall love you do not forget it.
Into your eyes I dared to look, gaze I was lost pulled in closer by the beauty that radiated from your soul I knew not when my body began to betray me and inched closer and closer like a moth to the flame, I drew nearer still until we locked passages and you sealed my heart in that moment for my brain could not interpret the excitement my heart felt. The only information it got was the flashes of light in many colours across a dark background; complete illumination it covered the entire canvas as the guards at the gate dropped their arms and simply sat in awe of her beauty. I knew that in this moment the stars could never outshine you for you were the brightest constellation and you would remain forever and always responsible for one of the brightest moments in my life.
The rhythms of our hearts sync to match the tune of our minds in a state of rest, palpitating on end as our thoughts race on without pause or pitstop. We drink up to slow down the engines that run our lives, I lose track of time as I go off track I look back and realize the mistake I made was I pushed too hard and now it fades to black
Her lips held the drug that held me in a state of ecstacy, dopamine concentrated, injected into my bloodstream my brain could only shudder with delight as my worries faded into the distance. Stronger yet I became every time you called my name, bolder I got when we were together for your presence forced me to shed this mediocre skin of being and become someone worthy to by you seen
The truth about me,
My wants and hopes with you.
All orbit the simple word, precious.
I’m not sorry for thinking that you are more than you look.
I’m not sorry for thinking your beautiful face and demeanor hide something.
I don’t want you in my bed,
I don’t want to
Im not sure what I want.
I only know that you’ve got me spellbound.
This sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach is not the nausea associated with consumption but a fear of what time has changed from an assumption. A nudge in the back of my mind and at the helm of my soul that all is not well. Like the wet recession of the ocean before a tsunami, such is the depression before the loss of one close to me. A storm’s comin
Take a hit
Not to the stomach with a hilt
But to the heart with a shift
A change in perspective
Take a hit
To keep your mind and body distant
On an island reminiscent
Of a time when pain was ancient
Take a hit
For not the love that was lost
But the joy that was found
With the new that came back around
Take a hit
To let love take life
To let smoke cloud strife
And into a new world dive
Take a hit